Beautiful sparks

He said, “boy when things harden up they become brittle and that’s how the breaks set in…” His words served as the perfect time machine. Zapping me immediately into that landmark in my distant past!..

There is now an unquenchable fire in my soul but before that flame there was a spark. And for that spark, I needed broken pieces! I didn’t understand this until my heart got darkened and really broken…

When my lights went out and I was all alone in my own darkness.

When I could feel nothing and decided to make no sense out of all I saw.

When I got really mad at God and myself and refused to believe that he was what goodness was.

When I was all cold and my heart hardened because I refused to let God be God.

When I found and engaged my shutdown button so as to willingly give up on life and all that concerns living…

I heard what sounded like the broken pieces of my heart collide and for the first time, I saw clearly what I was born solely to see; Beauty!

Oh those were the beautiful sparks that started my flame and they helped me realize my broken and hardened pieces had the potential of conjuring light too.

There’s a warm fire now in my soul, Who knew my heart could be mended and purified with fire?

Even though the heart that was born out of the flames was nothing like the previous one, thanks to it, I now have warmth which protects me from the cold on the outside and light which drives all my darkness away.

Oh yes! when I was all alone and broken, My once defeated heart showed me light and with this light, I now see and understand this world and the human condition better.

~Beautiful sparks; a tale from my past

Farewell oh sanity!

“Fear is a friend who is misunderstood”

There is a question that I always hoped I had the courage to ask. But as always, my fear of denial and rejection gets the better of me and whispers its “what ifs” which I have become so accustomed to… Funny enough, the question is as simple as this, “Old man, please can I know more of what you know?”

Today I decided to do something different. I mustered all the courage I had and headed towards him but courage wasn’t enough to tranquilize my heart. It kept banging on my chest like a wild animal… Just when I got in front of him, he smiled and said; “I saw you struggling with yourself there and I have waited so long for this… I’m glad you settled on this decision, but for what you want to know boy, I am too insane to explain and you are too normal to understand. Become insane enough and I will meet you there!”

How do I get insane? I asked. Don’t ask me, ask your heart. Everything is etched into your heart yet your heart is unknown to you!

And so it was, I received my fear as I feared. However, I got to learn something new… It wasn’t that bad!

~farewell oh sanity

Myself

My name is Tony. I am ## years old. I come from XXX (wherever either one of my parents come from). I live at XXX (wherever my parents’ house is situated). My favourite food is XXX. I…

This was how I used to write a long time ago for marks from my teachers. Then, I was so sure of who I was, what I had and all the things I liked. Somewhere along the line, I became friends with Reason and with time he made me understand the language he spoke. His words were enough to shake up my very foundation so I decided to embark on a quest to find myself because I was certain that was the right way to find out who or what I am.

Perseverance held true to its word, it never failed! For I found “my mirror” and with it I could see all that I am. However, all that I saw was exactly what made me selfish and that was what interfered with the love I could give to the world… I knew immediately that this wasn’t what I wanted. I want to be a better person to the world so for once I decided to look beyond myself and that was when I saw the other mirror, the mirror of truth!

This mirror kept showing me nothing until Reason made me aware that, the fact that I wasn’t seeing wasn’t really evidence that there was nothing. So Reason introduced me to Belief and with Belief I understood Faith. With this understanding, I stared back into the mirror and realized my image was actually that of the Creator’s. I was made for love and I was actually more than what I could perceive because my unaided eyes could see nothing in the mirror of truth…

Now I know that to really be myself, I have to be like the Creator; full of light and love. World, I will show you a better man because inside finally wants out!

~Myself

Lucky fellas

And here I am, staring foolishly at this lady. It amazes me some times, how my emotions are mostly laid back (guarded) when it comes to a lot of issues of life (making me seem indifferent) but how quickly it lights up whenever there’s a sense of wonder (like that is the only potent stimulant for my emotions).

OK, now back to me staring foolishly; a young adult was making shots on the basketball court, from all directions but what made me assume the foolish countenance on the outside was the fact that she lacked the means of missing…

So I wondered why chance or luck favoured some people better than others. I smiled as always (life had brought me something to think about) I walked on with this thought in mind only to be interrupted by a bump on my head which was followed by the words “I didn’t miss” (suggesting it was intentional). The bump was caused by a basketball. As the owner of the ball approached from an appreciable distance, I couldn’t help but notice how little-a-boy he was, he got closer and instead of apologizing for the pain caused, he rather went a step further and said; “Sorry for interrupting your thoughts, but I have a better question for you; what about thinking do you think makes you get answers to questions you don’t know? Anyway, there’s nothing like chance…” He followed that with a smile, then I knew exactly who he (the little boy) was…

What man calls chance is merely the absence of his knowledge on a particular parameter underlining the final event he sees. The mere fact that there are laws in this universe prevents what man calls chance. If you get to know all the parameters concerning a particular event, you can repeat it over and over again and the results will remain the same. Considering the case of the basketball, shooting through the hoop is the final event, if I’m able to calculate all the parameters responsible for the event, like the wind speed, direction, mass of the ball, the distance between the hoop and me etc. I can make that shot over and over again!

Are you telling me the young lady is a better calculator then? You can say that, but she did her calculations in a different way, you see, she has been practicing and that has helped her build trust in the parameters concerning that sport. Like a little child who keeps repeating the multiplication table, she has come to know the solutions by heart, jumping the steps required for calculations.

And that’s how it is with people we refer to as professionals they have trained their bodies over and over again so much that it’s getting closer and closer to the very laws that pertain to their respective games. The closer they get, the more talented they seem to us (observers) because their very being is getting in line with the laws!

The lucky fellas are those getting closer to the laws at work and as they get closer they get to first understand and second use the laws in their favour…

The laws are absolute and to beat it, you must first know this…

~Lucky fellas~

Eye not eyes

There are days that I think so hard about life and existence until the numinous finally has pity on me and says hi to me. Immediately after that, all issues of life become of little or no interest to me because I know I’m not really in control

There are other days that I feel ordinary, on such days I feel everything is in my control even though I know how limited I am; I believe in what my senses detect because they are mostly at their best around such times. It also happens to be the day that anxiety and fear normally materialize and keep me company.

Today is one of the ordinary days and like always, I’m aware I will be hosting my two pals (anxiety and fear) soon…

I got out and realized the weather wasn’t so bad, the almighty sun was hiding behind some clouds. I decided to use that opportunity to stare at the skies in order to see if I could get something interesting to talk about with my two friends when they arrive (no one really likes a boring host)

So I lifted my head, and saw the birds flying in the sky, it was so beautiful. However, I noticed something else with in that beauty; different birds flew at different levels in the sky and yet it seemed to me that the sky was still their overall limit no matter how high they flew (how high can high really be?). I also noticed one thing about me, no matter how sharp I thought my eyes had become, the sky still remained the limit for my sense of sight too (how sharp can my sharpest eyes really be?).

And as I pondered on this, the almighty sun reminded me that it can’t stay hidden for long. It’s rays hit me warmly on my forehead, and with dashing speed as that of my very neurons, they relayed a very simple message to me…

Boy, after the sky, there is no limit (the sky can’t really be the limit). You are limited if you only see what you can see but you become unlimited when you get to know what He sees. Oh yeah, there is a He who sees and He sees it all because He sits above everything (Most High). It will interest you to know that there are actually no limits for those who know and see what they can’t see!

Make sure you see beyond the sky and before you ask how, remember you just heard me from beyond the sky without technically hearing. Your senses are quite good for what lies below the sky but how good are they for the vastness beyond the skies?

So with joy, I carried myself home and waited patiently for my guests to show up, knowing I wasn’t going to be boring today. But they never showed! (can this really be an ordinary day without my pals?)

Ordinary days still can’t quench my thirst!

~eye not eyes~

Breath of Life…

I looked closely at this vessel of mine through the eyes of my mirror. And what I saw was a boy responding to my will. I exhaled and the mirror’s eye became clouded as a result of my breath. This occurrence was enough to take me through memory lane, to a time when I first learnt that, when my warm breath hits the cold mirror it steams up, and that could even be used as an indication that I am alive.

Is life then a Breath? As some of the Holy Writs claim? I wondered to myself…

It was as though the mirror could read my mind, because right after that, it’s eyes refused to to show me my vessel; the old man became the image I saw and he immediately spoke to me.

Boy, don’t be alarmed at what you are seeing, know that the eyes are of no use if the heart can’t see. Today your heart has done well to make you see, but you must try to understand as well!

If I were the only thing that had life and nothing else existed but me; if I decide to make some thing else have life, I would only have to take a part of me and put it in whatever that thing is, so it can experience what life is through what I gave out. After all, I AM that Alone which has Life and all other things only get to experience Life (Me) because I’m truly what life is to them!

All other things will turn back into sand, for what is living isn’t the body but that which lives within it. And that which lives within it isn’t itself living but lives because of that which really Lives. If life is possible, then it’s only because of the one who truly Lives.

~breathe of life

My future is now

As today ends, I gladly await tomorrow yet I wake up only to face today again and never tomorrow! Oh I’m rooted like a tree in today! I can’t go backwards nor forward because those realms only exist merely as thoughts to me here in today!

Time is passing and with it is everything else, be it: yesterday, today and hopefully tomorrow. But tomorrow never comes!

I have searched for tomorrow and never found it. Even though my very good friend called Procrastination keeps telling me how wonderful and favourable his homeland is, and how great it will be for me to carry out all my tasks there, I never truly get there.

However, one thing I have realized now through this quest is that; today is the only vehicle that carries me through time. And if there is indeed a tomorrow, I only get to experience it as today. For the very moment I step my foot in to tomorrow, it becomes a today!

Oh today, you are my future…

So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today.

~my future is now

So Random

A million pieces of me on the floor but left to this understanding of mine alone, I can’t put them back together. This time the key lies beyond me and all that I have understood so far…

I was in my head and started asking myself questions. After a while, I paused and wondered why I was doing that. Do I really think “I” know something I do not know? Or do I do this by default because that is my way of acknowledging and assuring myself that there’s something far greater in me than me?

I came out of my head briefly for some air because I was drowning in my thoughts.
That was when I saw a man, just like me but much older and doing things I could only dream of. So I drew closer to him, he smiled and said, “Finally, you notice me. I know all your thoughts because I’m ahead of you, but today you only get to ask me one question without thinking, for your thoughts have worn you out”. Just when I was contemplating how I was going to carry out this feat, I spoke, and it was like one of those ‘what-did-I-just-say’ moments when your words somehow bypass your thoughts. The words that my ears picked up from me as my lips took up different shapes were, ‘What am I gonna do with all this future?’.

“Good question”, he said, just look at me because as I look at you now, you are everything I did with my past!

~So Random

The Creeps

It was a lovely day, just like all the days before it. I looked with in me and everything was the same; my “friend” was still where I had kept him, so I smiled and walked on…

On my way, I saw a girl, beautiful as the arrangement of the nine letters themselves. However, that wasn’t what got my attention because to me, there is beauty in everything else! She stared me in the face for a while, moved on to my chest and smiled; right then I knew she could see through me and that really got me unsettled…

As if that wasn’t enough, she run through a wall right in front of me. Instantly, that feat of hers gave me the creeps! not because it was amazing or unbelievable to me but because deep with in me was an impenetrable wall safely guarding my heart…

Oh, this is trouble!

~The Creeps~

Full Counter

Nature’s Full Counter… Can you really hurt nature?

Yesterday, I was taken over by a deep sleep. It was so deep that I wondered why it happened. After all I wasn’t that exhausted when I went to bed. However, the interesting bit was how it only took the soft touch of a hand to awake me from this deep sleep.

I opened my eyes and stared him in the face. It was no other but the old man. He said, “follow me”. So I did as he said, dragging myself along till we ended up in the hall. There, I saw a little boy watching anime. I wondered who he was for there was no such boy in my house. I drew closer only to find out that he looked just like me and it seemed he hadn’t even noticed us.

I then looked at the old man for answers. He smiled and said, “that is the child in you”. What?, I was very confident I had awoken from my bed and hence my sleep too, but what was really going on?. The old man interrupted my thoughts with his words… “Stop over thinking, I awoke you in your dreams just to make you conscious in here. I didn’t do this feat so as to leave you amazed but to show you something that child in you has been trying to communicate to you for some time now. Sit down and watch what he is watching.”

I sat down and realized he was actually watching Nanatsu no Taizai (the seven deadly sins) one of my favourite Japanese animes. It was a scene where the villains had combined all their arsenals and were planning on hitting Meliodas (the hero) with it. One thing they had forgotten was that Meliodas had the ability to use “Full Counter”. Just when their most powerful attack was about ripping Meliodas apart, he used the Full Counter. Right then the anime was paused. And the little boy looked in my direction and smiled, seems he could see me now.

What is Full counter?, the old man asked. To which I quickly responded in harmony with the little boy, Full Counter enables its user to reflect attacks aimed at him back at the enemy, but with more than double the power; therefore, the stronger the opponent’s powers are, the stronger the user’s power becomes. “Well said, with this understanding, I will teach you Nature’s Full Counter today”, said the old man.

Come and see, he pointed at something on a leaf. We were no longer in the house after he said “come and see”. So I drew closer and realized it was a caterpillar, it had destroyed all the leaves on that plant and it was almost done with the very last leaf. Just then, it was hit with something, something I couldn’t see but only sensed. It became very sluggish afterwards, till a point it could no longer move. Whatever hit it, hit it so hard, it began transforming, first into what we call a pupa and then a beautiful butterfly emerged. Right after it emerged, it started hopping from flower to flower like it had been punished to do that.

Did you understand what just happened?. No sir, I quickly responded. “Give me your hand”, he said. The moment our hands made contact, I understood everything. The foolish caterpillar, had purposed in it’s heart to destroy nature. Just like the villains it had also forgotten about Nature’s Full Counter. Unfortunately, what it had forgotten, hit it back so hard that it had to transform only to payback in multiple folds.

You see boy, the few leaves that the caterpillar destroyed, it had to payback in multiple folds by pollinating a lot of flowers and hence giving rise to a lot more plants! Don’t forget you can’t really hurt nature. You only end up hurting yourself more. Note that, nature here stands for everything with in it too, even your fellow man.

Be wise, for the wise learning this truth, only choose to hit life hard with the best of their goodness and love!

My eyes finally opened and I was back in bed staring at my ceiling and thinking, even though my body had remained in here the whole time, my “mind” had moved me around to gather up information that I needed for my wakefulness…

~ Full Counter